You might not have been dealt a great hand in life… perhaps your parents divorced, you were bullied, you were born with a disability or later developed a disability, you experienced abuse or emotional trauma, you lost a loved one, you lived in a single-parent household…
While many of these things may seem commonplace today, they can all significantly affect one’s experience of life.
While nature did not give us the power to choose our experiences, it granted us the freedom to decide how we perceive those experiences.
Many people choose to let certain experiences hold them back; they use them as scapegoats to explain why they aren’t successful or why they aren’t as far along as others. But we can view traumatic experiences through a different lens…
We can choose to perceive these ‘bad’ experiences as ‘good’ experiences. Instead of saying, “wow, my life sucks. I’m not successful because all this bad stuff happened to me. I was dealt a bad hand. If only my life were easy and I didn’t have all these obstacles put in front of me…”
If you lost a loved one, it can be painful—but you are now a stronger person because of it. Going through a loss and learning to keep moving gives you the skills to deal with tough situations in the future, which we know are inevitable.
If you were abused by your parents, great—now you know what not to do when you have a child of your own and you will be a better parent yourself. You now also have the power to get through the next difficult situation life throws at you.
Your car got stolen, good—you never really liked that car and you wanted a new one anyway. And now you remember to lock your doors.
While all of these experiences can be considered 'bad', they can also be looked at as 'good'. It's only a matter of perception.
Jim Carrey, the famous comedian, once said, “Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.” I don't think he means this literally, rather he means to shift your mentality. Treat life as if everything really is happening for you—to make you a better person. Make the conscious choice to perceive something as good or bad.
You have total control of your life and your happiness if you use 'bad' situations to become better, stronger, and smarter.
By definition of the word itself, nature cannot do anything that is unnatural and in nature, two things can happen to you: you can either endure it, or you can die.
Your parents got divorced—you did not die because of it, therefore you can endure it.
You were fired from your job—you did not die because of it, therefore you can endure it.
Anything that does not kill you is therefore endurable and will make you a stronger person.
Roman Emperor and Stoic Marcus Aurelius said, “Choose not to be harmed — and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed — and you haven't been.”
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